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A Teacher's Lament
Don't tell me the cat ate your math sheet,
And you couldn't decipher your homework,
Because it was soaked in the rain.
Don't tell me you slaved for hours
On the project that's due today.
And you would have had it finished
If your snake hadn't run away.
Don't tell me you lost your eraser,
And your worksheets and pencils, too,
And your papers are stuck together
With a great big glob of glue.
I'm tired of all your excuses;
They are really a terrible bore,
Besides, I forgot my own work,
At home in my study drawer.
by Kalli Dakos
The witches mumble horrid chants,
You're scolded by thousand aunts,
A Martian pulls a fearsome face
And hurls you into Outer Space,
You're tied in front of whistling trains,
And tigers snarl, the giants roar,
You're sat on by a dinosaur,
In vain you're shouting, "Help" and "Stop",
The walls are spinning like a top,
The earth is melting in the sun
And all the horror's just begun.
And, oh, the screams, the thumping hearts
That awful night before school starts.
by Max Fatchen
Michael O'Toole hated going to school,
He wanted to stay home and play.
So he lied to he dad and said he felt bad
And stayed home from school one day.
The very next day he decided to say
That his stomach felt a bit queasy.
He groaned and he winced 'till his dad was convinced,
And he said to himself, "This is easy!"
At the end of the week, his dad kissed his cheek
And said, "Son, you've missed too much school."
"But still I feel funny, and my nose is all runny,"
Said the mischievous Michael O'Toole.
Each day he'd complain of a new ache or pain,
But his doctor could find nothing wrong.
He said it was best to let Michael rest,
Until he felt healthy and strong.
Michael O'Toole never did go to school,
So he never learned how to write-
Or to read or to spell or do anything well,
Which is sad, for he's really quite bright.
And now that he's grown, he sits home alone
'Cause there's nothing he knows how to do,
Don't be a fool and stay home from school,
Or the same thing could happen to you!
By Phil Bolsta
I love to do my homework,
It makes me feel so good.
I love to do exactly
As my teacher says I should.
I love to do my homework,
I never miss a day,
I even love the men in white
Who are taking me away.
Anonymous
I don't like doing homework
I know that it will bore me.
But now I am much happier
'Cause Freddie does it for me!
He greets me at the door each day
When I come home from school,
He just can't wait to read my books -
I think that's pretty cool!
I give him all my homework
Like history and math,
And when he's done I give him
A nice warm bubble bath!
My grades are so much better now,
Which makes my parents glad.
Freddie is the smartest dog
That I have ever had!
By Phil Bolsta
"I cannot go to school today,"
Said little Peggy Ann McKay.
"I have the measles and the mumps,
A gash, a rash and purple bumps.
My mouth is wet, my throat is dry,
I'm going blind in my right eye.
My tonsils are as big as rocks,
"I've counted sixteen chicken pox
And there's one more-that's seventeen,
And don't you think my face looks green?
My leg is cut, my eyes are blue-
It might be instamatic flu.
I cough and sneeze and gasp and choke,
I'm sure that my leg is broke-
My hip hurts when I move my chin,
My belly button's caving in,
My back is wrenched, my ankle's sprained,
My 'pendix pains each time it rains.
My nose is cold, my toes are numb,
I have a sliver in my thumb.
My neck is stiff, my voice is weak,
I hardly whisper when I speak,
My tongue is filling up my mouth,
I think my hair is falling out.
My elbow's bent, my spine ain't straight,
My temperature is one-o-eight.
My brain is shrunk, I cannot hear,
There is a hole inside my ear.
I have a hangnail, and my heart is --what?
What's that? What's that you say?
You say today is ....Saturday?
G'bye, I'm going out to play!"
By Shel Silverstein
My brother's worth about two
cents,
As far as I can see.
I simply cannot understand
Why they would want a "he."
He spends a good part of his
day
Asleep inside a crib,
And when he eats, he has to wear
A stupid baby bib.
He cannot walk and cannot talk
And cannot throw a ball.
In fact, he can't do anything -
He's just no fun at all.
It would have been more
sensible,
As far as I can see,
Instead of getting one like him
To get one just like me.
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